When did this get so hard?

In the past few days the line between obedience and rebellion have become increasingly blurry.
Discipline is getting harder, and Lincoln is getting more opinionated (I know I know--he's almost two, but I think if one more person uses the phrase "terrible twos" or reminds me of it I'll break down into a sobbing heap--because the fact is, he's not even two yet).
All the fun new things of having a big kid are here for sure, but with each sweet toddler moment that we have come a handful of unbearable ones where all you can stand to do is shut yourself in the bathroom for a moment and pray--hard.
Here are a few of the most fun things Lincoln has done lately (mainly to help myself keep things in perspective).
-recently switched to a big boy bed--which he loves jumping on and sleeping in. He calls it the "big bed". Pretty cute (See pics below).
-today at Wal-Mart when we were finally done shopping I looked at him and said "Okay buddy, we're all done shopping,
great job " and gave him a thumbs up, to which he replied "high five" and put his hand up to give me one.
-We get into "I love you" contests" where I'll tell him "I love you" and he decides to say it back, only louder, so we go back and forth like this for a while.
-he just got a bow tie and loves wearing it, and the best part is how he says bow tie, it sounds like he has a jamaican accent.
-when John goes to pray with him before meals, or bed he yells, "mommy pray" and when I come in he throws his arms around me neck (he'll do the same thing with John when he's not in the room).
-John's been giving him pennies in his piggy bank every day when he gets home from work (he gets 2 pennies a day) and on Sunday he got to take a penny to church to put in the giving box (it's his tithe). It's pretty sweet when he calls it "Jesus' penny".)
So all this will stand as a reminder for every other time when he's screaming at the top of his lungs because the dvd is over, or he can't have a marshmallow.
"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the
proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give
up." Galatians 6:9

Life lessons from Sun-Maid

Another lesson from mommying:
Today I was driving in the car with Lincoln who has recently developed a passion for raisins (I don't think he's my son). I handed him the bag of raisins and he's plugging away eating every last one when I think he's had enough. I take the bag of raisins away and hand him a few more to tide him over when he starts screaming.
He knew he could have had the entire bag and all he has is a few in his hand. So here he is, shoving the raisins he has been given in his mouth all the while screaming fervently for the raisins he doesn't have. I try to comfort him by telling him "It's okay buddy, eat the raisins you have" and then I catch myself saying something with such profound meaning for my life that I can hardly believe the words are coming out of my own mouth. I tell him "Be thankful for the raisins you do have."
Wha????
This is such a foreign concept in my heart that I couldn't believe I was touting the principle to my 2-year-old. It was at that moment that I felt God lovingly smack me upside the head with a new truth I need to grasp. Contentment.
Ah-ha.
Be happy with the raisins I have. So often in life I catch myself asking God for something (namely at this stage it's me asking for our townhome to sell and for us to be blessed with a bigger house before this baby comes), and I'm crying and screaming so much for the raisins I don't have that I fail to be thankful for, end enjoy the raisins that I'm currently being given.
I wish I could convey what an impact this had on me. It's one of those lessons that you "know" but you haven't really come to learn. Surely I've been blessed beyond measure, and my thankfulness for our current circumstances should be much deeper than a mere formality I profess to believe because I know how pretentious it sounds to be asking for a bigger house with a yard. Surely there are people not only with much less, but with nothing at all, and the thing that I have been given (whether townhome, clothes, etc) is perfectly suitable and even beyond that an abundance more than I've ever asked. Not only that, but remind myself of the truth that I have been forgiven an astonishingly large debt, for which Christ bought my forgiveness and I am a free woman, no longer even living for the things this world can offer me. Yet somehow I've managed thus far to coast through life with little appreciation for my raisins.
I wonder which raisins I can learn to appreciate better today.
(the picture above is our amazing garden, something which God greatly blessed us with and for which I am overwhlemingly thankful every spring and summer).

Confessions from mommyhood

I know of no other calling in life where what you want to do and what you must do come to a neck-breaking collision more than in mommying...at least I didn't think I did. Here's a story...
My futile attempts to keep the backseat of my car clean are dashed, Lincoln manages to dump every type of snack I hand him on the floor, making it look more like a pond of little goldfish than the floormats my husband once so cleverly negotiated upon the purchase of our car. I remember those days. Staying up late, watching movies from start to finish, eating hot meals, having clean clothes....ahhh.
But alas, I am pulled back to reality with the shriek of a 20 month old and a kick in the side from our unborn monster (remind me what we were thinking)...I go through my day, chasing, playing, carrying, monitoring all the while feeling more and more taxed as I realize I just want to take a shower, or get dressed without my laundry being quite uncarefully strewn all over my floor. What happened to my house? It used to be so clean. Why can't I read my Bible without hearing "all done" 40 times from the high chair next to me? I remember the days of hour-long Bible studies UNinterrupted. What IS that stuff on my shirt anyways--graham cracker? Cheerios? I find myself in my car eventually, running late for Bible study (a perpetual struggle for me of cosmic proportions) when I realize I have lost all ability to think rationally and start gushing tears. How did I get here? How did I get to be that crazy mom? When will my life be manageable again? After two kids?....heh heh. *sob sob sob*

I glance into the mirror to realize that my face is now completely soaked in tears and I know there is no way I can go into a building of wonderful sweet caring women and some of my closest friends looking like I've just been crying and not have to talk about it.
I open my glove box hoping by some unique twist of events that a pack of tissues has suddenly materialized in there, and find my hopes dashed. I stare apprehensively for a moment at the size 4 diaper I keep in case of emergencies (and trust me they are just that), throw my inhibitions to the wind (clearly a woman crying in her car is not in a position of high standing anyways) and I grab the diaper and begin soaking up my tears with it.
Here I am...sitting in my car...crying into a diaper...hoping desperately none of my friends walk by and I realize how comical the situation is and start laughing.
Am I this helpless? "Lord, I need a fresh word from you, I need to hear your voice. More desperately than I have in a while I need some intervention, some perspective. I am drained, and I need your spirit. I am completely sucking the bottom of the bucket. I need your voice"
And faithfully as the tides, it comes. Isn't it a thing of wonder that the God of everything stoops to wipe out tears?
"Then Jesus said to his disciples, "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me." Matthew 16:24
I realize this pursuit of being mommy is not unlike my walk with God. What other path can I seek to pursue that requires every ounce of my life and energy. That demands I sacrifice the things I once used to pursue so passionately for a cause outside myself that is so much more important to me? What other lifestyle is left empty without a complete emptying of myself, and requires a constant dialogue, a continual dependence, a relentless reliance on the creator of the universe? The two are paralleled in ways too clear to be coincidental.
The Lord is constantly reminding me that the things I used to pursue are no longer important, as a woman in Christ, I am supposed to serve, and in that serving lead my children and other peoples children (old and young) to see God. "Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not men," Ephesians 6:7 I can think of no greater calling that requires me to become less. "He must become greater; I must become less." John 3:30
To close, I quote my husband. In a card to our neighbors who recently found out they are pregnant John simply wrote this, "At first you'll feel like you've given up everything, but after a while you'll realize the things you've given up aren't nearly as great as the things you gain." And it is like.. "What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ" Philippians 3:8.
And all God's people said...

My favorite song

Come, thou Fount of every blessing,
tune my heart to sing thy grace;
streams of mercy, never ceasing,
call for songs of loudest praise.
Teach me some melodious sonnet,
sung by flaming tongues above.
Praise the mount! I'm fixed upon it,
mount of thy redeeming love.

Here I raise mine Ebenezer;
hither by thy help I'm come;
and I hope, by thy good pleasure,
safely to arrive at home.
Jesus sought me when a stranger,
wandering from the fold of God;
he, to rescue me from danger,
interposed his precious blood.

O to grace how great a debtor
daily I'm constrained to be!
Let thy goodness, like a fetter,
bind my wandering heart to thee.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
prone to leave the God I love;
here's my heart, O take and seal it,
seal it for thy courts above.

Goodbye Little Maggie

It is much harder than I thought, saying goodbye to this little cat. We put Maggie (my cat of 9 years) to sleep last night. I hadn't totally prepared myself for it, but at the vet's office he said we could continue to treat the symptoms, knowing that it would never go away and would eventually come to this, or we could choose to let her go now. It was one of the hardest things I've ever done, which sounds crazy because I know it was a cat.
But she felt like so much more than just a cat. It's strange in a way because it's almost like saying goodbye to a phase in my life. Maggie was around when I was 16. I remember sleeping snuggled up with her as a kitten (the only place she wanted to sleep was draped across my neck). She was the runt of the litter, and she had no clue. She used to go up to our giant lab and hiss right in his face as if he was the one who was supposed to move. And then when I got my driver's license I used to take her in the car with me for drives to be near her. She was there when I graduated high school and started college. And when I eventually moved out of home and got my first apartment, she went with me.
She was with me when I got married, she moved across the country with me, and was eventually Lincoln's little play buddy.
It's so hard to think that now she's gone and this next phase in my life, one where we welcome a new baby and eventually a new home etc., is one that she'll never be a part of. It's like I'm finally grown up and that part of my life is gone, it's kind of surreal.
She was such a fun kitty. I remember the first time she met John she hissed at him and ran away (very unlike my first reaction to him you can imagine). She was always good for a snuggle--especially with people who were not cat lovers. If you sat still for longer than 60 seconds, you could pretty much count on Maggie coming up and pawing at your hair, or sitting on your lap. I'd never seen her grumpy or anti-social--she was the happiest cat I'd ever met. She also had a knack for climbing into really obscure small places and not being found. We'd hear meowing in the kitchen for 2 minutes before we pulled out one of the drawers and saw her little face peek out. An for whatever reason she always looked like a kitten.
At a mere 5 pounds she was bigger on love and companionship than you could ever guess by looking at her. And we had a great time together.
I'm confident as the days go by it will be easier for her to be gone....but today it's hard.

Life!

It's pretty amazing to be faced with the menagerie of possibilities that your future child can be. Since we chose not to find out the sex this time (though trust me--every time the ultrasound tech told me I might want to look away so as not to find out on accident, I was staring intently at whatever I thought was a private part, convinced I'd see some hint--but to no avail) it's an even broader spectrum of imagination. Dark hair or light, straight or curly, boy or girl. And then with any assumption of one of the previous options, another flow of thoughts stem--ballet or soccer? , tomboy or mama's boy?, mini-skirt battles or (ugh!) making bike ramps out of plywood?
It's crazy to think that in less than 19 weeks, our lives will be changed so incredibly. Our baby will become our big kid (the thought is already making me cry) and we'll be carrying around another tiny little person, two carseats, maybe even a double stroller....and oh....sleep deprivation, how could I forget.
But what's more amazing is that right now there is a tiny little secret growing inside me that only God totally knows. There are weeks of everyone's lives, months even, where the only entity totally aware of who they are and what they will become is God. Right now my baby is totally known to the creator of the universe. He alone knows the hair patterns, the fingerprints, the tiny feet, the gender. And He has his own amazing name for him or her. Right on the other side of my stomach, separated to me only by skin and tissue and organs (mere inches) is my future son or daughter and I have no idea what they are like.
"To imagine is everything, to know is nothing at all." -Anatole France

MUAH!

He was playing with my earrings and I asked for a kiss. One of the perks of being mommy!

GFF!

So me and my gal pals (hee hee) got together tonight for a super-fun party that Group (john's company) was putting on to launch their new Girlfriends Unlimited line. It was a blast! We got facials, hand massages, played DDR (dance dance revolution) got our pics taken, played games, danced and everything (all without kids on our hips).
Way fun! I also got my hair done...I think an afro looks great on me!
(From L-R: Shelley "Shell Toast", Steph, Beyonce, Nicole "Cole", Gretchen "Crackers", and Melissa) Good Times.

Coming soon to a theatre near you...

Starring (among many other very talented performers...) ME!

Feeding the Giraffes!

This weekend John, Lincoln and I were blessed by John's parents with the opportunity to stay at the Broadmoor. WOW! It was amazing. We went for a bike ride, rode paddle boats, horseback riding, swimming, jogging, playing, exploring, eating at a super fancy restaurant...YUM. And lastly we went to the Cheyenne Mountain Zoo and got to do lots of fun things. Lincoln fed the giraffes, which was one of my favorite memories of all times. Those things are amazing! They're tongues are so long and slimy--yuck.
At first Lincoln was really creeped out but then he came around and was giving them crackers by himself.
Also, please note the random girl smiling in our picture. Come on, isn't it commom etiquette to at least pretend like you don't know you're in someone else's picture rather than smile for the camera like you're supposed to be there?

Thank Heaven for Mario Lopez!

So I was watching Miss Teen USA the other night and was dismayed and (naively) suprised at the ridiculous girls that represent this parade of underweight adolescents.
The thing I was most amazed about is when they would interview the girls and ask them things like what are your hobbies...
I'm NOT kidding when I say that one of them seriously listed "texting my friends" as a hobby.
I think she sat in front of me at the movies a few weeks ago...come on..
texting your friends? Ugh.
Another said "listening to Reggae music".
This also...is not a hobby.
What about things like saving the dolphins, or recycling?
Okay, so my hobby list wouldn't be quite so well-rounded either, but I can guarantee it wouldn't include texting my friends.
Obviously I prefer email.
Kidding. But Mario Lopez was the host (which should have been my first cluse that it was going to be a waste of an hour. After watching these little pixies prance across the stage wearing high heels and hairspray I learned two things:
1. Our kids are in desperate need of reality
2. I should kill my television.
Thankfully, Miss Colorado won. Phew.

Dance your cares away (clap, clap)

Who remembers the Fraggles? I was so in love with this show.
For those of you who would like to reminisce with me here is Wikipedia's rundown of the main fraggles:
Gobo is the "leader", level-headed and practical, and prefers to be in control of most situations. He plays the guitar (made from a gourd) and considers himself chiefly an explorer.
Mokey is highly spiritual and artistic (she recites poetry), and is usually quiet and contemplative. She is the optimist of the group, trying to see the best in everyone and everything, and comforting her friends when no such "bright side" can be found.
Red, in direct contrast to her best friend Mokey, is exuberant and athletic; she is one of the best swimmers among the Fraggles. She was described by Mo Rocca on VH1's I Love the 80s: Strikes Back as the "Buck the establishment Fraggle." She is also highly cynical of her friends' plans and ideas and often teases Gobo about his Uncle Travelling Matt (occasionally yawning while he reads the postcards). Red, like Gobo, also wants to be in control, and there is often friction between them over who should be the one in charge.
Wembley, Gobo's best friend, is nervous and pathologically indecisive (this is mostly because he doesn't want to hurt anyone's feelings; saying 'yes' to someone means saying 'no' to someone else). In fact, "to wemble" is a Fraggle verb to describe indecisiveness. In later episodes of the series, Wembley works with the fire department, as their siren. The Fraggle Rock fire department, however, does not put out fires -- it starts them.
Boober's cardinal trait is depression and worry, and his favourite activity is washing socks – Fraggles, however, do not seem to use footwear most of the time. Boober is almost always negative, and displays hypochondriac tendencies.
Now the 3 questions are:
1. Which fraggle is your favorite? I always liked Wembley, which by the way is a great name.
2. Which fraggle are you most similar to? I must admit, Red is probably the most accurate. Mokey always got on my nerves.
3. Which fraggle are you most compatible with? I think I actually married a Dozer--not a fraggle, which suits me well.
Feel free to indulge your fraggle fix by watching this brief, but entertaining clip:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pr_zwgEdm4c&mode=related&search=

Go ahead, it's Friday. We could all use a little Fraggle on Friday!
(And for the record, I hereby reserve the name "Sprocket" for any dog we may possibly get in the future)

"Oh look, he's so happy"...CHOMP!

Does anyone else out there feel just a little guilty eating these things?

If you wanna hang out, you gotta taker her out....

Cocaine? No, the fast food equivalent "Raisin Cane's"
It's no irony that the word "cane" appears in the name of the restaurant, because any of you that have had this would know...it's Awwwwwwwwwwwe-sum!
Yeah, when it comes to this place I'm basically like Lindsay Lohan- you can see pics of me in the tabloids hunched down in the passenger seat of our car with my hair all dishevled and my hood pulled up, eyes half closed with a little cane's sauce on my cheek.
And here is my downfall.
All you skinny people out there (and I know there are many of you who frequent places like Cane's and Sonic and can still look like Heidi Klum--yes Melissa, this means you ;) you'll never understand. But for the rest of us, who are more like Tyra than Heidi...eat on! In moderation of course, and only after a 20 minute jog (I'm KIDDING!)
It's so challenging for me friends. I'm such an emotional eater, and I must say my constant strain to lose the last 9 pounds of weight (okay, I'm lying...it's more like 11) I have on from toting a human being around in my body (how does this happen?) so that we can even think about having another child is really (pardon the pun) weighing on me.
I need a Jared moment right? You know that guy from Subway. Or maybe I just need to get over it.
I wish I could be like Tyra who said "you can kiss my fat black @$$" whoa, watch it Tyra. (Come on, I'd never say that!)
But I go back and forth between that and wanting to have my Mary Kate come out and--well you can imagine.
Either way (I'm a little sad to admit) guess what I'm eating for lunch today.
She don't lie, she don't lie, she don't lie.....

Da Dum Da Da Dum Da Da Dum Da Dum

That's the Rocky theme song, for those of you who don't know...
I must admit. I was nothing short of reluctant (okay, I was down right protesting) when John wanted to see the newest Rocky movie. "Give me a break" I thought, "Slyvester Stallone...acting....again....please!"
Granted, I had never seen any of the other Rocky movies, and my knowledge of Rocky was limited to "Yo! Adrian!" and some american flag boxing shorts. But I must say, it was a good thing I was watching the movie alone in my living room because by the last round of the fight I was yelling at the t.v. and cheering Rocko on with everyone else....I'm not ashamed to admit it.
I am now a HUGE Rocky fan. I've become a little....how do you say...obsessed? with the whole series.
And, much to John's enjoyment, have wanted to rent all the old Rocky movies and sit through them (If only I'd get into Rambo now right John?) Anyways, there's just something...(I'm out of elaborate words here) cool...about Rocky kicking everyone's butt, not to mention the unbelievable characters that are in the movies. I mean, come on...Mick? He's amazing. Who can say the things he says and get away with it? No one!
So in honor of my new Stallone fetish, I will recall the top ten Rocky moments for you...please, feel free to patron your local video rental establishment to relive the magic (keep in mind I'm only on The 4th one...so there is much more to come.

10. Apollo Creed- in general. Especially when he comes out like Washington crossing the Delaware in those weird patriotic boxers.

9. Rocky with his pet turtles (link and cuff). How perfect.
8. The scene where Paulie is yelling at Adrian through the bedroom door to go out with Rocky (and Rocky is sitting in the living room).
7. Little Marie saying "screw you creepo" to Rocky when he walks her home...what a line right?
6. Mick saying "you gotta eat lightnin' and crap thunder" Not sure what that means, but like I said...only Mick.

5. In Rocky 3 when all the kids start chasing after Rocky and running miles and miles from home to follow him. Where were these kids parents?
4. Of course, Apollo Creed going on and on about the "eye of the tiger" business, which by the way is an exceptional song.
3. Clubber Lang--the scariest opponent yet. I pity the fool! Note: this has also sparked the nicknames around our home for Mikey (the fat cat) whom we call "Blubber Lang" and John, whom I affectionately refer to as "Hubber Lang".

2. Certainly, Rocky running up the stairs and dancing around and punching at the air when he gets to the top---that's classic.

1. Rocky yelling "Adrian-we did it!" at the end of Rocky 2 (don't tell John I told you, but I wasn't the only one tearing up ;)
Needless to say, I love these flicks. They also inspire me when I'm doing my combat kickboxing class at the gym (yes I totally pretend like I'm fighting Clubber Lang). If you haven't seen them...go...now....
stop reading.

The Schmidt-sons

In honor of the epic Simpsons movie premiere John, Lincoln and I have all been Simpsonized. D'oh!

I Scream, You Scream!

Lincoln and I started a weekly tradition last Friday....Ice Cream Dates!
It was a lot of fun. There is a small candy shop in Old Town where you can buy one ounce ice cream cones for 94 cents (I just realized there is no "cents" symbol on the keyboard...lame!) So Lincoln and I each got a tiny ice cream cone (he got to eat the entire thing himself...it was a mess...he loved it).
Lincoln ordered blue ice cream with sprinkles, and I got cookies and cream.
See photo documentation below.
All in all I'd say he's a pretty good date. Although we'll have to work on the whole diaper changing thing...and maybe HE could foot the bill next time :)

Are you truly Outrageous?

Does anyone remember Jem?
So I was a die hard Jem fan. It got so out of control at one point that I would write my name with the n's so close together that it looked like "Jem" hoping people would call me that on accident. Looking back, she probably wasn't the best role model for me--as you can tell from the video-her relationship with purple-haired boyfriend Rio, was not only extremely physical (hello--they're always kissing) but was also full of it's ups and downs (ahh, the life of a rock star).
Not to mention that she's always ditching her friends (poor Kimber and Stormer) for her man--lame.
However, some good did come of Jem and the Holograms. For one, that earring she wears is pretty darn cool. I think I specifically remember touching my ear more than once and saying something to the effect of "Go Cinergy, it's time."
Also, if nothing else the phrase "truly outrageous" is quite fun to say. Try and work it into your next conversation and I'm sure some underground Jem fans will reveal themselves.
(A Gold star to anyone who can tell me how many times the word "truly" is said in the "truly outrageous" song).
Nevertheless, Jem is a fond memory from my childhood. I got the Jem barbie at one point and only liked her until her earrings burnt out. She had what I used to think of as "man feet"--you see Barbie had feet for high heels, Jem could only wear flats...ugh! This old obsession has recently resurfaced as I got a pair of earrings from a garage sale that are purple stars...I must say when I wear them (even if I'm grocery shopping) I do indeed feel truly outrageous.
Go Cinergy!

The joys of boys

Ten things you learn very quickly upon bringing your little boy bundle home (or maybe just kids in general).
10. When the peenie is cold...it pees.
9. Hair-brushing is not a priority
8. Neither is getting the crap wiped off your bottom
7. Cat food looks like snacks
6. Cat food tastes like snacks also
5. Steep drops are not at all intimidating...in fact, they're just the opposite.
4. Mommy's hair, earrings, necklaces and anything else all look like perfectly acceptable pull toys
3. If it's not moving...I'm going to try and eat it
2. If it IS moving...I'll probably try and eat it.
1. Mommy is the prettiest! ( I Love that one :)

Preciousssss

How creepy is that?
Many of you have heard this revelation in my life recently. For those of you who have not, I'm not done learning it yet so I'll continue to beleaguer the point. The Lord has really been revealing to me how much I covet. I never really understood the way this sin had presented itself in my life...I always thought "I'm just comparing myself" or "I'm just not content" but really it boils down to coveting.
Coveting my friends' size four jeans, or another friend's cute clothes, better stuff, cuter shoes, perfect bag etc, etc, etc.
It's nauseating how materialistic I am...really.
Well, obviously I was struck with the perfect image of what I feel like I become when I covet these things...(Lord of the Rings certainly has some redeeming value if nothing else than for spiritual analogies you'll soon learn). Anyways, this picture of Gollum, holding the ring hissing the word "preciousss" and holding on to it for dear life strikes my mind and I realize...I absolutely am like that with the many things I begin to covet in life.
I'm not content. (Certainly this can be a good thing when it comes to not being content with my pursuit of God, righteousness etc) When it comes to being un-content (is that a made up word? Maybe it's discontent?) with the things I have and the body I have etc. it's just destructive.
This morning I was reading in Luke and I read this:
Jesus told his disciples "Do not worry about your life, what you will EAT; or about your body, what you will WEAR. Life is more than food, and the body more than clothes." (Luke 12:22-23)
I know this is referring to the disciples not worrying about whether they would eat or be provided for, but it had a much different meaning to me sitting at my kitchen table this morning.
Life is more than food....
That means life is more than calories, diets, ideal weights, favorite jeans, "summer legs" and "Kate Austen" (the girl from LOST) ripped arms.
Certainly it honors God to exhibit self-control and not be gluttonous (and this is something I pray that he will help me to realize and not obsess over) but it really is such an insignificant pursuit to agonize over pounds and fat grams.
How futile.
How unrewarding.
Later in that chapter it says, "Do not set your heart on what you will eat or drink, do not worry about it, for the pagan world runs after all such things." (Luke 12:29-30)
It's true! It is a pursuit of those who do not know God to set their hearts on what they will eat and drink (low carbs, diet pills, etc etc). Our only pusuit and that which we seek is not cute clothes, comparing to the models, our friends, wishing, wanting, craving, comparing, struggling, envying, obsessing, striving.
It is to seek the kingdom of God....first....only...simply.
Just
that
alone.
Whoa! What a revelation that was to me. Now, the disclaimer is that certainly it is honorable to be healthy and have discretion etc. But it is not to be what I set my heart on.
And that my friends...is a very liberating thought being a woman in the century we live in.
Free at last, Free at last.
Thank God almighty! Free at last!