Thursday, September 18, 2008
It's been one of those weeks
You know when you wake up and you honestly have the thought, "Maybe I'll get the stomach flu so I can just stay in bed all day" (and--if I'm being honest "then I'd lose a few pounds too").
It was just one sucky thing after another, and it was really hard for me.
Let me hash it out for ya.
Between whiny children, babysitting on my birthday, running late for BSF and spilling coffee grounds on the counter followed by bagel (cream cheese side down) on the floor, and a weird series of conversations with a good friend that made it really hard to communicate effectively, topped off with a severe lack of sleep as Ellie parties in the bassinet next to MY side of the bed (while husband snores peacefully in my left ear)--it was getting to be a bit much. (And can I just say those are the highlights, I didn't really do it justice)
It culminated today when Ellie wouldn't stop crying, I was starving and lunch wasn't ready yet (Yes, frozen pizza again..I know, I know) and Lincoln was singing "LaLaLa" progressively louder in a passive aggressive and highly annoying way. I quickly stood up, left the crying baby and the whiny toddler in the living room and shut myself behind the nearest closed door I could find (which happened to be the pantry if you're curious). While I'm in there...in complete darkness...I realized the craziness of what I was doing and, with one hand holding the door closed so a curious 2-year-old couldn't open it (maybe he just thinks I'm getting a snack) I started praying. And it went something like this:
"Lord....you know how much I can handle.....and I'm not going to say I can't take this because you would know whether or not I can....you wanted me to come to you when things are hard....so here I am.....help."
not nearly as eloquent or inspiring as one would think eh?
But what happened next was nothing short of the miraculous in the mundane.
I sensed God's presence.
The toddler still whining, baby still screaming and the pizza still...frozen, I suddenly had the strength to get through. I went out and dealt with things (without screaming) and it got easier. Afterwards I found myself reflecting on something I had learned this week (don't you love object lessons?)
When reading about the Israelites under Egyptian oppression (which lasted four........hundred.......yearssssssss...ugh) our Bible study leader mentioned the point that:
1. God allows difficult people, circumstances, and situations in our lives to change us. We can either allow them to push us away from him, or toward him.
2. He is always with us in the midst of it.
"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."- Jesus (John 16:33)
So I realized that while the Israelite boy babies were being killed by the Egyptians under the decree of Pharaoh (Hello,they were throwing the babies in the NILE) and the Israelites were enslaved by a people they didn't belong to (oaky stay with me, we're almost to the point) it was in God's plan.
And when I was locked in the dark pantry borderline insane with a circus going on in my kitchen...it was in God's plan.
And he was there with them, and he is there with me. Just wanting us all to turn to him and tell him how freakin' hard it is to follow him right now, but how bad we need him.
I love those little moments of application (after they're finished of course).
And hopefully next time I've learned enough to shut myself in the pantry at the beginning of the day, instead of at the end of my rope.
(Picture used with permission by my good friend Nicole, documenting when her daughter Ani was having "one of those weeks.")
Posted by Jenn at 1:40 PM