Thursday, May 07, 2009

I need a hero....yeah...sing the song.

I'll keep it short. Cause I have to.
Recently, I was struggling and heartbroken over my response to a particular situation. You see I can coast along pretty well responding spiritually until something interrupts my comfort, and then it becomes increasingly harder and harder to respond in a way that is glorifying to God.
Well, as many of you know, my husband was out of town (and few things will press against your sensitive spots more than taking care of two children with no husband day in and out for a week).
Needless to say, I was not the most graceful, gentle, and kind person. I did and said some things that I will regret for the rest of my life.
I hurt someone.
Without dwelling too long on my failures, let's just say I was pretty heartbroken over it.
You know when you get to the point where it's easier to focus on yourself and how horrible you are than on the truth? I was there.
I was reading my Bible the next day, and began reading in Deuteronomy the list of curses. There it was, over and over pounding into my head and my soul, "cursed is....cursed is....cursed is..." and there was the specific one I had done. I was cursed. I was feeling that curse, that total separation from God because of my sin.
Let me just tell you...that felt miserable.
I was standing there, looking directly at a verse (I could have put my finger right on it) that said because of what I had done I was cursed.
In utter despair, I asked God, "Is it true? Am I under a curse? Am I cursed?" I asked Him to give me a verse of truth, a verse to speak to me that I could hold on to.
Guess what? He did!
"Christ redeemed us from the curse of the law by becoming a curse for us." Galatians 3:13
And I realized all over again the wonder of my salvation, of my Savior.
Without the awareness that on our own we are completely and utterly futile....we can never have this salvation. And as we grow in our faith, we have the tendency to start thinking we are getting pretty good on our own and no longer need that message for our lives daily (though as good little Christians we don't like to admit to such apostasy outright-we begin to live as though we have accepted this).
Praise God for the realization that I still do need this. For the awareness once again of the truth that I lean on daily, that redeemed me from the curse.
And for the hero of a Savior I have....that became a curse for me.
I rejoice in anything that makes me look like a total fool so this truth can become more clear in my life.

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