Monday, November 13, 2006

Not for the faint of heart

Okay, So I'm doing something I said I'd never do as a mother...talking about poo.
If this bothers you or you're one of those "Ugh, how disgusting" types....dont' read on.
I have yet to figure out how a small baby under the age of one can single-handedly manage to defy the laws of physics, but Lincoln has achieved it.
This morning when I was eating breakfast (thank you son) Linc had his normal "flow" of events. I pick him up and carry him up the stairs to change him only to realize that my bath robe is covered in poo, as is his leg, his tummy, all his clothes and his foot. I brace myself, since this is not the first time this has happened and I begin to attempt to strategically remove layers so as not to spread the poo--to no avail--I frantically grab wipe after wipe...finally determining it's just as easy to plop him in the bathroom sink and "hose him down".I cautiously open the diaper expecting to be astonished....practically nothing inside. A microscopic bit was actaully contained in the diaper (Thank you pampers).
This happens time and time again in'll think all your wonderful little scientific improvements suck as "leak guard" and "dry weave" will contain the chaos...only to be reminded (usually with a strange warm feeling on your shirt) that it's a messy job. I have a friend who's child actually managed to poop in a way that it began leaking out the bottom of the car seat....yeah.
Brace yourselves ladies and gents. If you have yet to experience a's coming...and it will happen.
We all have (or potentially will have) terrible horror stories...that are usually strategically timed when we're trying to rush out the door. Whether it's pee, poo, spit up, or (when the teething monster strikes) drool, drool, drool--and you'll think to yourself one day...when you're sitting around in your dirty clothes, holding your little slime bug's slobber covered hand..."I never thought this would seem normal to me." But it will....and that's the scary part.
The best part is, it doesn't seem that bad. God gives us grace to accomplish the daunting tasks of parenting one day at a time, which is a good thing, because by the time they're potty training and they poop on the floor...maybe that won't seem so bad either.
Maybe I've spoken too much--some may say that all I write about is mommying....yeah yeah yeah. It's what I do. 24 hours a day. And I love it and I'm proud of it. Poo covered and all.

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